Forever a dreamer and a magpie for all things pretty and sparkly (and pink) Apart from peace, happiness and good will (and cake
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Being a student nurse is one big rollercoaster, and at every point of the rollercoaster you have information thrown at you that god help you if you don’t remember – because its’ likely someone will ask you about it at the next point. Meanwhile you’re riding high, you’re doing it, you’re wearing the uniform, people actually believe you are an actual nurse! People expect you to be an ACTUAL nurse. Then there’s the lows, the horrors of illness and death, the disappointing results you might get in a test, the telling off you get from someone on the ward, the shameful mistake you make and that’s all before even thinking about the generally horrible bodily fluids that come with being a nurse, believe me they are lows. What makes a rollercoaster even more of a metaphor for this nursing malarkey is that it never stops moving and the scenes keep on changing. You never stop learning and just when you get comfortable somewhere it’s time to move on – is the next place going to be a high point or could it be a low point, you just don’t know until you get there.
I’m someone who has never been good with change, I’m a Taurus – apparently It’s one of our traits. I was also 2 weeks late being born, mainly because I think I was just too cosy in there and couldn’t face the change of a new place, The need to feel settled and comfortable and ‘at home’ is something that has stayed with me throughout my life. It’s one of the things I have found the hardest about my nursing journey so far. I just got settled into uni life and started to feel bonded with the guys and gals in my class and then we went on placement and it’s a whole new way of life, but the unsettling doesn’t stop there because you are constantly moving on to a new experience once your time there is done.
As a student nurse the first day in a new placement is always hard, you’ve got to make that first impression, you’re praying that you get a nice mentor, you have that slightly rabbit in the headlights look on your face as everything is a little bit overwhelming but you’re trying to smile through it because you don’t want anyone to even begin to think you are not tough enough for this – because YOU are tough enough and YOU will show them!! You’re trying to show how good you are, when actually you don’t know where anything is or who anyone is and you’re also trying to absorb as much information as you can whilst having to move at a fast pace. Relatives and doctors approach you to ask you things because you’re wearing a uniform and you look like a nurse, and after a while you try to answer their questions and assist them, but the first few times you have to admit you’re a first year student and you actually don’t know anything. Being the ‘new girl’ is never easy but you can’t settle as a student nurse because you are constantly becoming the ‘new girl’ over and over again.
I’ve had to come face to face with my fear of change, and the first few days of every placement I’ve done this year have been really hard, the stubborn side of me (that’ll be that damn Taurus bull rearing it’s head again) always wants to give up for about the first 3 days. It’s too hard, it’s too new, it’s too frustrating not knowing your way around. As well as being a hater of change, I’ve definitely spent a lot of my life wrapped up in issues with perfectionism, and there is no place for that in being a student nurse who has never even remotely worked in healthcare before. I’ve had to accept that I’m not going to be able to do this perfectly – not even close! You could say it’s one of the ways I have ‘bettered’ myself as a person through my nursing journey, I’ve had to face my fears and drop the perfection and suck it up when I feel uncomfortable in new situations and face it that I don’t know everything. Change is a part of life and if things didn’t change patients wouldn’t get better, nurses wouldn’t move up, medicine and healthcare wouldn’t develop, things will never stop changing and the rollercoaster will keep on turning, but I’m getting used to it, and quite frankly for now I’m just happy to have a ticket to ride.
Image credit – Nina Edmondson
Affectionately known as Boo to my friends, I opened bake-a-boo in 2006 and after 10 years of making cake dreams come true, hosting fabulous tea parties and releasing a cookbook I have now closed the doors of the tea room. Plagued with severe endometriosis and several food allergies I’m turning all the bad into something good and after being a great patient, I’m now training to hopefully become a ‘great’ nurse! Here I’m sharing my journey, and talking health, my inspirations and life after bake-a-boo…..and of course CAKE! You can take the girl out of the cake shop but you can’t take the cake shop out of the girl so find out here how I can still help you with cakes and treats and parties galore x